Bella's Guide to Raising Children
by TheUnofficialMarauders
Summary: Hoping to further preserve her loyalty towards Lord Voldemort, Bellatrix BlackLestrange has decided to write a book about raising children for the Dark Lord's service!
1. Introduction

Author's Note: This is not written by the author of all the other fanfics on this account, but by her counterpart who usually proofreads and edits the documents and has decided to step out of her seclusion to put this selection up. I am also sorry for the extremely short length of the introduction, and assure you that further chapters will tend to be much longer. Without further ado, here is the fanfic for your reading pleasure.

The Art of Raising Children for the Dark Lord' s Service

By Bellatrix Black-Lestrange

Introduction.

The art of raising children is a despicable one, and I would rather not have anything to do with children, as they are putrid little runts unfit for doing anything right. However, in order to fully commit myself to the Dark Lord's service, I realized that I must continue my legacy so I may indirectly serve him after I have passed on. This, unfortunately, meant having children and raising them. I have written this book in order to bypass having to do that, and also so that you, too, may know how to raise the little nothings to the level of evilness and devotion my lord commands if you so desire for whatever moronic reason.

This book will provide a clever guide, covering how to incorporate the Dark Arts in your little sack of potatoes's life from the very beginning, to their toddler age where they can do nothing, say nothing of any importance, but still able to scream until you stupefy them, to their adolescent years where you will be able to harness their awkward age to your benefit, all the way to their teenage years, where they will either become most truly devoted if you have raised them right, or terribly rebellious, probably joining forces with Muggles and all sorts of hideous breeds unfit to wash my house-elf's tea cozy.

I will also be advising you on not only how to raise your child effectively in the Dark Arts, but also how to mold them into a perfect example of a Death Eater and Dark Lord supporter. Who knows; with careful planning and rearing on your part, they might even make it into his inner circle, and wouldn't that be a source of pride for you!

It will do well for you to note right at the beginning the obvious: if you dare associate with Mudbloods, Muggles, or blood traitors, you are heavily advised to sever all ties with them immediately, as they may provide the wrong type of influence you would want on your little maggoty-breathed tyke, easily turning all your precious years and efforts of Dark Arts training to waste. If you cannot bear to lose these people I am disgusted to think you would call friends, I suggest you stop spreading your filth onto my precious guidebook and give it to someone more deserving.

If you think raising a child for the Dark Lord will be easy, you should also think twice, as it is a life-long effort, though as I know from experience with my sister you will be greatly rewarded, not to mention having someone you can finally call related to you in some way redeeming themselves from being scum of the earth to a faithful supporter of the Dark Lord. If all turns out well you should have much pride in yourself and will be well respected in your Death Eater community as a given. However, do take note that if your offspring turns out even the slightest bit less than satisfactory you would do well to start running for cover.

As a final note, I would like to dedicate this book to my husband Rodolphus, who also shares my hatred of children, my sister Narcissa and her husband Lucius, who decided to bear a now-wonderful young man who has been devotedly given to the Dark Lord's service, and, of course, The Dark Lord himself.


	2. During Pregnancy

Chapter 1. During Pregnancy

To fully bring your child up in a household supporting the Dark Arts, you must start even before you can even see the little brat who doesn't deserve to have a likeness of you. Some ways to do this are listed below, although I encourage you to think of your own also, in order to give your child a head start against any one else who might also be reading this for their child. Competition always helps out for your part if you break the rules!

One way to first introduce your child to the Dark Arts is to practice curses, preferably Unforgivable ones, while you are carrying the child, in order for them to feel the magnitude of power that you are wielding while you do this. This will also provide them with motivational and leadership skills later on, as they can stretch the truth during annual Death Eater rallies by announcing that they had been doing the Cruciatus Curse since before they were born.

Another way to enhance your child's powers is to brew and drink a variety of different potions. Some suggestions are anti-poison potions, which could help them be immune to certain curses or hexes later on in their life lest they be in a duel with Ministry wizards, Order members, or just anyone they happen to tick off, skele-gro to keep their bones strong and agile so they can have the upper hand in a Muggle fight, although I hope they would never have to stoop that low and could find something to hex them with behind their back instead, or a wit-sharpening potion, to hopefully cause them to bypass stages of utterly annoying baby talk. However, I advise you NOT to consume any invigorating potions while you are with child, as you will regret it once they reach their toddler stages. Aging potions also will not help the child develop faster, and will only result in your becoming more elderly and less capable of serving the Dark Lord, let alone raising one of his future servants right.

Also, you must also do the necessary things to prepare for the hideous creature's entering the world, such as setting up a certain room for them, which may also serve as a punishment room for them later on in life and will be discussed in upcoming chapters, buying special foods, as the worthless excuse for a wizard does not have the intellect past a flobberworm and must be force-fed foods day in and day out, and various other things to help tend to their every unfortunate whim. Don't be alarmed, you will only need to do this for a very short period of time before you can kick them on their own and continue with your normal life (even less time if you are an exceptionally good brewer of wit-sharpening potions.).

Some further Do's and Do Not's during this stage include

DO: keep your house moderately dark to encourage full meaning of the word 'dark' and to allow your being to embrace it from the moment they are brought to live under your household.

DO NOT: buy any special papers for your child's walls at this time, as this will promote their thinking outside the box and may lead to a dangerous place.

DO: take the time to abolish anything pertaining to the Muggle world you may have obtained perhaps from dull-witted coworkers or from Muggle-loving "friends" whom you have already promised not to see or hear from again if you refer back to the introduction

DO NOT: talk 'baby-talk' to it, as this will only lower yours and their IQs, leaving them less brain capacity to learn everything you are about to train them for, and also giving other hopeful inner-circle prospectives a better chance than yours.

DO: purchase a barred crib for the repulsive creature, in order to prepare it to practice ways of escaping once it ages and to teach it to go against their instincts or 'conscience' and break rules at an early age.

DO NOT: acquire any stuffed effigies of Billywigs, Fairys, Fwoopers, or any other sort of creature that could possibly fall under the category of 'fluffy' or 'cute'. This will distract the worthless slobbering infant and lead it down dangerous paths. If you feel you must own a plush or figurine of some sorts of a creature, consider an Acromantula, Chimaera, or Quintaped. I believe they can be found in your nearest Dark Arts Knick Knack shop, such as Borgin and Burkes.

DO: Force or Imperius your spouse to help you make necessary preparations for the little idiot in order to ensure that you re not the only one with this horrible yet eventually rewarding job. You shouldn't have to be the only one who must suffer on their behalf!


	3. Infancy

Chapter 2: Infancy

By now your terrible months of labor and fat for just a pile of skin should be over, and you should have what looks like something half-way human. However, your pain has only just begun. You should be waking frequently to your child's incessant cries, and if you have learned to sleep through them I applaud you. However, if you are so concerned with having peace of mind and sleep, try feeding it or cleaning up its waste.

Now that this thing is actually visible in the world, their physical and mental training can now start. There are a few ways you can get its mind and body up to speed quickly, and I of course will list them here.

First off, don't even begin to babble mindlessly in 'cute' voices and the like. This will only dumben both yours and your child's minds. Instead, talk to them as if they were an actual human being, though they still cease to yet look like one. Involve them in interesting conversations about various topics, specifying which are good and which are bad. If they look the slightest bit interested, enlighten them more on the topic so they will remember later on what spell to use to make enemies sprout fungus all over their body.

Another way to keep their mind stimulated and help them develop the thoughts you would like is music. However, the usual kinds suggested for these things will not do. These kinds are but are not limited to Classical, New Age, Easy Listening, Showtunes, Jazz, and Ambient or 'Lift Music'. Some types to use are Hard Rock, Heavy Metal, or anything with screaming in it. This is to get your thing accustomed to the sound of screaming, as they probably will hear a lot of it in their lifetime if they turn out correctly. If they cringe at the sound, you should take it as a sign of weakness and try to fix the tic as early as possible. Keep in mind throughout their childhood what kinds of music they listen to, as this will more likely than not affect how they turn out.

Once they are out of your womb for good, you should over the next couple of months make sure that they are in the best physical condition that they can be. Anything less than spectacular shall be a definite impediment for them as they go along, and will affect their ability to be the best wizard that they can be. If you in fact do find a defect in their physical shape or condition, now is the best time to fix it or make amends for it. If you wait until a later point in their life to deal with the problem, it shall be harder for them to be able to get around their difficulty.

Once you have checked to make sure that they are in the best physical condition they could possibly be in, the next thing to do is to take steps to keep it that way. You must make sure not to overfeed it, as being overweight will cause them problems in both their physical and mental condition later on in life, as it also is known to promote laziness. Another thing is to make sure your child gets enough exercise, as some of the professions they enter later in life will require this, and it is better to teach it to them from the beginning. Obviously since they don't have enough brainpower to know how to even roll over yet, you should just make sure that they are getting good enough exercise doing whatever they can do at this stage in their life.

It is also a good idea to introduce your child to diseases such as dragonpox in order to build up their immune system so they will not have to rely on potions or medicines for at least an extended period of time. This will give your offspring a great advantage over many other children whose parents think it unwise or cruel to submit their child to these non-lethal diseases when they are just prolonging the inevitable in the first place.

Another thing to check for early on in this thing's life is to see whether or not they possess any magical ability yet. If they do not seem to, don't be alarmed, not many little idiots have the knack for magic this early. If they do, make sure you harness their ability and hone it so that they will know it wields power and is a source of pride.

Some Do's and Do Not's during this stage include

DO: Try to teach your offspring to talk, as once they can talk you can continue with taking their training to a new level.

DO NOT: Waste your time playing childish games with them, such as 'Patty-Cake' or the like. This does not pertain to anything you need to bring them up to become the Dark Lord's followers, and you will do well not to have them possess any type of childhood memories in case they have the bad fortune to have a run-in with a Dementor.

DO: Perform spells or any other type of magic in front of them so they may know of magic and also get a feel of what a certain spell looks like when done right early on.

DO NOT: Perform any hexes, jinxes, or curses on your child, regular or Unforgivable, as it will only cause them to have defects in both their mental and physical behavior later on in life if performed on them at such a young age. If this happens, they will not be the best servant of the Dark Lord that they can be, and while the blame can be easily cast on someone else, this may prevent elevating you to the highest level of respect that you may desire.


	4. Toddler Years

A/N: Just wanted to express how happy I am at seeing all these pretty reviews, they really make me enjoy writing this. I am also pleased to add that my word count is growing with every chapter in case anyone is still irked at the shortness.

Chapter 3: Toddler Era

By now you should be having a reasonable night's sleep, however you may find you wake up early in the morning to find your half-human banging on pots, pans, or various other things they have senselessly thrown out of your cupboards. A good locking charm on them would do the trick to keep them out, or if you don't want to be repeatedly saying or thinking alohomora every time you need a spork, a simple spell preventing it from entering the kitchen will also work.

Your child shall now be able to actually spew out words that have meaning, and if you've noticed, they may do this very frequently. If you find that your thing will just not shut up, I suggest the spell langlock to give you some peace and quiet. This may also work and is very useful during temper tantrums, though these are very good in developing their personality and ensuring that their mindsets are on their own needs and not wasted away on tending to someone else's.

They are also beginning, if you notice, to walk and run all over your house, probably knocking over various things along the way. If you feel the need to restrain that, a simple leg-locker curse will work wonderfully, though this may cause a tantrum as listed above, and though you may wish this, your child is not your prisoner so you should try not to curse it as much. This will not only stunt their growth and make their brains deteriorate, but will also stir up rebellion from within themselves and also resentment towards you, and may cause them to defect to the other side at a later age. We certainly do not want that to happen, as it causes great shame not only to you but also to your whole family, as in the case of my late aunt and my family as a result of my half-witted cousin changing sides.

Since your child is starting to grow pretty quickly now, they will need some 'friends' around the same age, so that you will not have to occupy the little nothing every moment of the day and also so they may become influences for each other during their lifetime. Be careful as you are picking though, since they might also affect your total waste of galleons in a negative way. I use for example, again, my cousin, who fell in with the wrong crowd and went down very idiotic paths and later got his very just desserts if I do say so myself. Therefore, I suggest finding playmates within your Death Eater circle, as this will most likely yield the most positive influence. However, this does not indicate that you will never have to watch out to see what kinds of people this moron keeps around themself. You should continue to point out the good and bad people and show them the differences between the two throughout their lifetime, and especially while they are at school.

Another thing to do with your horrible offspring if you have the time, the memories, and a pensieve, is to take your child into a memory of a Death Eater meeting, preferably when the Dark Lord is there and giving orders or perhaps punishing a less-than-loyal or clumsy comrade of yours, to introduce your child to him and teach them the proper ways of respect and obedience towards him which will be very useful later on. This also will give you yet another cheat towards the competition since The Dark Lord does not tolerate scum such as mere children near him, so they obviously will not be able to attend real meetings with you for quite some time. It would also do well to point out various others of your Death Eater friends that you are well acquainted with, so that your child will be comfortable with the familiar face if they so choose to drop by your house for whatever reason.

While your child is growing mentally, it wouldn't help to teach them basics at this stage, either, such as learning how to read or write. Though this is a long, drawn out process and you may wish that you could just pay someone to teach them for you, you may realize that most tutor's career selection of choice was because they actually cared about these little piles of dungbombs and wanted to teach them. This is no good, and they are probably working for the other side, besides. Although it may be natural for most of you to take the easy way out, I'm afraid that until I find a reasonable alternative you will have to add this to the list of burdens you must put on yourself.

Some Do's and Do Not's during this stage include:

DO: Continue to perform spells and use magic around your child. If they are able to talk now, give them a stick and teach them a few good curses for practice.

DO NOT: Try and find friends for them around your own neighborhood. Unless you know their parents well, neighborhood friendships are the hardest to break if they get difficult, and neighborhood friends are also hard to decipher as a good influence or a bad influence.

DO: Start getting them to eat regular foods on their own now, as the less you have to do for them the better.

DO NOT: insist on bringing the little rat with you every time you leave the house, as this will teach it to cling to you and you should hopefully want it away from you and out of your life as soon as it can survive.

DO: try and get them to stop using diapers and start using the facilities like any normal human being would, though I hope this would be a given to anyone reading this wonderful novel.


	5. Ages 5 thru 10

A/N Very sorry about my lack of updating, high school finally decided to catch up to me and I also developed a jello block, which does not stop you completely like a writer's block but instead slows you down considerably, for those of you who wish to know.

Chapter 5: Ages 5-10

If just the lack of category did not clue you in, the ages listed within this range will be the most dissatisfying and also the most pointless of your child's life. Nothing you say or do will actually affect them in the long run, yet they will still rely on you for their every need since they still do not have a sense of responsibility. Also, since the range covers up to the age of 10, you will also not be able to have the comfort of shipping them away to some school for most of the year. Though by this time you should already be planning which school your child would be best fit to attend and which would help mold their future career as a loyal Death Eater best, this will be covered in the next chapter.

Since by now your little maggot should have accomplished basic motor skills, it wouldn't be too bad to start their physical training early. (Remember that the best competition is the one that starts the earliest!) If your yard does not have any, transfigure some good climbing trees and ropes there for your child to develop agility. Provide plenty of leaf coverage so they will also learn the art of disguise and concealment. Also at random points of the day throw some non-lethal curses or hexes at them so that they will learn at an early age how to dodge unhealthy spells. Plus, if you happen to have a spare broomstick lying around, now would be the time to start getting them acquainted with it and the tricks of how to fly it. This will not only teach them a very practical skill but also gain them much popularity when they are in school and are one of the only people to get on and fly on their first try.

Keep in mind throughout the rest of their life that popularity is one of the most important things to have, as it almost always ensures respect and loyalty among their friends. With this thought, you should do all in your power to help your brainless wonder gain as much popularity as they can. An example is that of a very good acquaintance of mine who was very unpopular throughout his childhood and therefore did not do too favorably with the Dark Lord's bidding until he redeemed himself beyond all belief. Assuming your child will not end up taking out one of the most powerful and despicable wizards of the century, being popular shall be the best way for your offspring to go.

You should also try to continue teaching them basic spells and jinxes early, though since they probably don't have their own wand at this time it might be difficult. Nevertheless, it would still be a good idea to perform a variety of spells around them and also teach them how to aim correctly at the people on whom they wish to cast the spell.

As I have said earlier, there is not much you can do during this period besides these few things, proving this whole stage of their life utterly worthless. However, you should be able to survive with the comfort of knowing that within a year or two they will only be home for the summer and almost out of your life for good.

Some Do's and Do Not's during this stage include:

DO: confirm that your little nightmare is hanging out with the right circle of people. I cannot stress how important this is, as soon their friends are the only people whose advice they will take.

DO NOT: let them use your wand. Though you are showing them how to perform spells, be aware that if you put your wand in their hands they may either not perform well with it and set things on fire or turn them to woodchips, or they may grow perfectly accustomed to it and eventually you will have no wand to use.

DO: continue to play music throughout your house. This is extremely helpful for as soon as you find out what your thing's tastes are, they will not only enjoy the music but also learn good morals, values, and tips from them. However, do make sure they do not branch out into the Muggle form of the music, as that will not bode too well for their future.

DO NOT: Overwork them by teaching them. This may backfire for you, especially if you are planning to send your spineless waste of space to a school were they get sorted, such as Hogwarts. If you feel that you have taught them too much, make sure that they know what their priorities are in life, and hope for the best. If things don't work out, you could always send a letter containing a threat, blackmail, or just a nice Howler.


	6. How to Pick the Right DarkArts School

A/N: Yes, I'm aware that I have not updated in ages and I really don't have an excuse this time, so a thousand apologies to you readers out there, and to make it up to you here is my longest chapter yet.

Chapter 5 1/2 – How to Pick the Right Dark-Arts Nurturing School

After the age of about 10 your slab of ignorance should be ready to finally vanish from your sight and be sent away to school. However, if by this time they have shown no possible sign of magical ability, I suggest you dump them off at the side of the road or do away with it quickly, because they will at this time have shown that they have the horrible disease of being a Squib or a Muggle, and despite your years of effort and strain, it would only be a disgrace and a waste of time to continue bringing it up.

If, however, your child has shown magical ability, then you must going about picking the best school for them. As you may already know from past experience, the school will take over the shaping of your child's personality for you so you can have time to rest or do whatever your heart desires once again. This means it is key that you make the right choice on the topic of where they will go. Of course, there are hundreds of wizarding schools all around the world in many different types and forms, and, if raised right, your child could have their choice of any one of them. However, the three most popular and famous and better-looking on your credentials are of course, Beauxbatons, Durmstrang, and Hogwarts, and don't go worrying your little idiotic head off, because I will tell you all about which should be your prime choice and why.

Beauxbatons is a little namby-pamby school located somewhere in a French-speaking part of a country, and consists mainly of haughty girls and loud obnoxious boys. While haughtiness and loudness are semi-desirable traits for your creep to obtain later on, this would not be a very good school for them to attend if you truly expect them to devote themselves fully to the Dark Lord's service. The Headmistress, Madame Maxime, is of course a giant and though giants are at this point on our side, she is not. With that in itself a very hazardous situation, keep in mind also that they will definitely not be teaching the Dark Arts here, and very little few Beauxbatons graduates ever grow to become loyal and highly respected Death Eaters.

Durmstrang is by far one of the best schools to attend to learn the Dark Arts, though following a series of less-than-loyal headmasters recently, you may not choose to go there. It is located and thus is very far from where you probably live, preventing you from keeping a close watch on their comings and goings in case their mind starts to wander in an unfavorable way. However, they are one of the only schools left who actually teach the theory of the Dark Arts and how to perform the Dark Arts, instead of skipping it altogether or just learning the defense of it as with the other two choices for schools. Also, though your child may be well-versed in the Dark Arts once they graduate from Durmstrang, the graduates from that particular school tend to become brooding and introverted instead of wholly devoted to the Dark Lord's cause, which is why we don't hear of any very high-up Death Eaters from there.

Hogwarts is probably the most famous of the three aforementioned schools, mainly for the reasons of the proximity to where most of us live, and of course the top two priorities to take care of on our Death Eater to-Avada-Kedavra list for the last 15 years, Harry Potter and Albus Dumbledore. While Hogwarts did have the curse of Albus Dumbledore for a headmaster, it did much better in turning out loyal Death Eaters than Beauxbatons had ever done. Though they obviously had no mind whatsoever in Defense Against Dark Arts teachers, having turned down the Dark Lord himself, they have had some very sensible ones in the last few years, namely Quirrel, Bartemius Crouch, Jr., and, of course, Severus Snape. While Dumbledore watched these people tirelessly until his moment finally came, they were still able to sneak past very many tricks under the moron's nose. Hogwarts has also shown to be a very historical school in the Death Eater's case, as the Dark Lord himself attended the school. Therefore, even if you choose not to send your pile of rubbish to that particular school, I would still suggest visiting it. The only condition that must be met regarding Hogwarts is as follows:

They MUST be sorted into Slytherin house.

In order for them to fully be taught in the ways of the Dark Lord, they must first be able to be sorted into his own house and the house of his ancestors. Any other house will NOT do, as Gryffindors will most likely make your child change sides, as with my half-witted cousin. Ravenclaws also will not do, as they will become too absorbed in their studies to devote themselves fully to a side. Hufflepuffs are the epitome of stupidity. If your child is sorted there, you should take this as a sign that you had done something terribly wrong in raising them and get them out of your life as soon as possible.

While I may tell or Imperius you to influence which school you must pick, in the end it is your decision, as I am more fluent in the Cruciatus curse myself and my Imperiuses tend to wear off after a week. Therefore, the choice rests on you to pick which school your bag of dragon dung should attend, for better or for worse. However, your child's school years are the most crucial for growth into the Dark Arts or for wandering away from them. With that in mind, and also in mind the pros and cons of all three schools, I will leave you to make your decision.


	7. Puberty

A/N – I think my problem is I'm just not consistent enough to update a fanfic. But I digress. You all want a new chapter, and here it is.

Chapter 6 – Puberty and Adolescence

Shortly after your bag of soon-to-be-raging hormones enters school, they will undergo a series of humiliating and degrading transformations. These are more commonly called Puberty or Adolescence. There's no need to inform them of these changes. They'll need to learn independence, and your telling them might indicate that you care about their well-being, and you don't want them to have a sense of attachment. In this chapter, we'll talk about both the physical, mental, and emotional changes it'll be going through, so you'll know when to grab your stick to fend them off.

Obviously, the most humiliating part of Puberty is the physical changes. We don't need to get into these in great detail, so I won't. What you will need to know, though, is that taking proper advantage of their humiliation is necessary for their future training. You still need to keep them in top physical condition when they're home from school, and now wouldn't be a very bad time to start teaching them a few counter-curses and hexes from your Dark Arts Handbook. Always make sure that they're keeping in practice at their school, and if they are at Hogwarts, suggest a few houses to try them on. If they get detentions, complain to their Head of House (Hopefully Slytherin), using any means necessary.

When they begin Puberty, their emotional state will change drastically. They will prefer to be shut up alone in their rooms when they come back from school, hopefully listening to that loud screaming music you raised them on. This is a very good thing. It is very important to encourage this behavior, as it will harness very positive emotions for future Death Eaters such as them. They will also tend to be uncomfortable and insecure. This is not good. If you want them to be perfect Death Eater material, it is imperative that they are extremely determined and confident almost to the point of arrogance, and have the logical thinking that everything they do must be right. This will cause them to make less mistakes in their life and be resourceful and have good qualities for, say, a leader of their local Death Eater circle.

It is also very good to teach them to be extremely loyal to both their family and also their blood roots. Now that they are immersed in a school, there will be no way to shelter them from the scum and lowlives they also admit, namely mudbloods, halfbloods, and blood-traitors. Teach them early on in their school life that those people are lower forms of life than your noble blood, and should not be looked upon as the same. Also, teach them to respect the family name. If one of their peers is talking badly about your family name, make sure they know to give them a good piece of their mind. And their wand.

One of the most important things you must look out for is who your child associates with! I cannot stress this fact enough. In a few years your shoddy excuse for offspring will see their friends as the most important people in their life, not you. I take for example, my excommunicated cousin. He decided to hang out with mudbloods and the like, and not only did he become one of the world's biggest blood-traitors, but also a member of the Order. It was a public disgrace for my poor aunt, who solved it nicely by wisely denying his existence or relation.

Some other DO's and DO NOT's during this period include:

DO: Make sure to introduce your little rubbish to other of your Death Eater acquaintances children, and note the reaction they expose while and after meeting them.

DO NOT: Send your child various 'care packages' during their school year. This will have them tend to be clingy and this is undesirable.

DO: Encourage your bundle of organs to invite their 'friends' over to your house. This provides a clever veil of seeing exactly who they associate with.

DO NOT: Attempt to visit your child at school during the school year, unless they are in extreme danger of going down the wrong path. Even in those cases a Howler will usually do the trick.


	8. Teenage Years

A/N: Unfortunately, since we've hit the teenage years, this is to be the last chapter for the fic, since there really aren't any more stages after that. I'm sad to see it go, since now I don't have a time-waster, but I'm really glad to see all the favorable comments I've gotten on it seeing as it's my first fic.

Chapter 7 – Teenage Years On

Once your slab of meat and organs has fully evolved into some sort of a half-human thanks to Puberty, they will have entered their teenage years. However, at this point you can do very little to teach them, so if you have not done so until now you may as well scrap the project now before it gets too out of hand. If you've done it right, this is the stage where they show the most potential for becoming a Death Eater, so if you watch for the signs, you will be able to see their future job quite plainly in sight, and your glory and admiration as well.

Once your child has become a teenager, one of the signs you must look for is rebelliousness. This can work in a way to your advantage, but also to your disadvantage. If your child is mostly rebellious to authority figures such as the rather bumbling Ministry of Magic (MoM) while keeping your ideals that you have taught them, you should do your very best to encourage them to continue this behavior. However, if their rebelliousness seems to be focused against you, you should assume that they have dropped your ideals altogether and face that after all your years of toil and hard work you screwed up and might as well disown them.

Another sign to watch for is extremely straight-forward. As they are becoming teenagers, they must have some sort of idea as to what they would like to become when they turn into human beings. If they seem genuinely interested in promoting their services to the Dark Lord, well, then that's that, isn't it? If they dodge your questions, it would do well to either drop some Veritaserum into their drink, or assume the worst.

The next sign to watch for may at first seem like a negative sign, as it is very violent arguments. I will tell you now though, that this is a very good trait for them to have at this point. Not only does it confirm that they are a teenager and that you haven't skipped a chapter, but it also promotes the endless hunger of greed and selfishness that will be a very good trait in a Death Eater later on. If there are no arguments in your house, you are not raising a human, better take it out back and do away with it quickly while you have the time now.

Even though they have entered their teenage years, this is still a very crucial time to watch their close friends and also enemies, as this will give you a glimpse of their social status as well as their moral status or (hopefully) lack thereof. As they are now teenagers, they are probably seeing someone that interests them, whether it may be for their looks, money, bloodline, or all three. Make sure that they have at least two of these three things, as bloodline is an absolute must. You wouldn't want your offspring disgracing your family so late in your life by becoming a blood traitor because of a petty thing they think is love, do you? Of course not. You know better.

As this is the last stage in their "childhood", it is time for you to take the last step. This is to contact your local Death Eater circle, whom you should have kept in touch with all this time, and inform them of your post-pubescent ticket to admiration and respect's willingness and enthusiasm for working for the Dark Lord. They will be more than happy to recruit them, since you have already set the established loyalty requirement for them with your own years of service. If you have raised them right, they will be very eager to get their tattoo as a badge of honor and don their robes and mask and get to work. However, if they seem to show signs of hesitation, don't worry. The Death Eaters will take care of it. And you could always try again with another bag of genes. If you're that foolish enough to try again.

Some Do's and Do Not's during this chapter include:

DO: Allow them to drink a little firewhiskey. This will improve their view of you, but don't allow them enough to become stupid drunkards. This is not what you need.

DO NOT: Allow them to perform reckless destructive behavior in public, as that will ruin their image and make authorities or the MoM be wary of them. Instead, try to interest them in destructive behavior that is more discreet.

DO: Encourage the person they're seeing to join up also, and promote it as a way for them to spend even more time together. Now you've just recruited another person without even lifting a finger.

DO NOT: Try to protect them if they hesitate or back out after you sign them up. Remember that it was their fault, and why should they have you risk your life for a disgrace such as them? You have better things to do with your health.


End file.
